I've had more than enough of prawns!!!
First, there was that raw prawn on the styrofoam square awaiting me during the Bio practical exam in the morning.
Then the whiff of prawns on the MRT on my way home.
Then my mum cooked prawns for dinner (how nice of her...but today just isn't the day. Sorry Mum.)
:p
I think i really made a lot of careless mistkes during the bio prac. (How could I have forgotten the air filter? and that enzymes are proteins? :P)
Gotta work much harder for the written paper if I want that A1.
But first, Higher Chinese, SS and Lit.
Especially SS, History and E Lit.
It'll be back to studying once i post this blog.

Finally got my KATE makeup today (Kanebo doesn't seem to have Trans Shine Eyes any more)...lipstick and pale pink and white eyeshadow/liner pencils.
Was about to get the liquid liner too, but decided that black mascara will be enough after all. Eye liner might make everything look too harsh in comparison to my white outfit. If I really need to line my eyes with something dark I'll use my eyeshadow/brown eyepencil instead.
Think I'll get my eyelash base from CanMake instead of Kate. If I decide I need it, that is.
If anyone says, "No amount of makeup will make you pretty", I'd reply, "That's true, because if i put on too much I'd look uglier anyway."
I just hope I don't end up accidentally putting too much foundation...it's all no thanks to lighting. In my mirror, everything may look ok, but when I go out into the sun...ugh.
Hopefully my complexion clears up by then so that I don't have to worry about foundation.
Experiment 1: This sunday, at Cousin Yang's wedding. (Strange, I've been calling him "Yang biaoge" from the very beginning. and even my parents call him "Ah Yang", so I don't even know his real name)If i wear a light colour outfit instead of the dark colour one I'm planning to wear. The look I have in mind for prom night just won't match well with a black outfit...will look washed out.

Ask somebody, "What can you think of that's related to the word, 'heart'?" I expect most people will think of love, etc etc. But for bio students studying for the 'O's like Maybelline and I in the Drama Studio just now...
"vena cava!" "capillaries!" "chordae tendineae!" "pulmonary artery!" "biscupid valves!" "aorta!" "blood plasma!" "thrombokinase!" "haemoglobin!" "Median septum!" "right atrium!"
How about flowers? Butterflies, bees, pretty...right? Guess again: "Calyx!" "nectar guides!" "androecium, stamen, anther, pollen grains" "Carpels" "stigma" "filament" "monoecious" "dioecious" "corolla" ovary" "receptacle"...
You get the idea.

Will stop here. Jaa



  ¶ 8:46:00 午後

  Having 2nd thoughts about getting the ltd ed of 5 x5.
Should i really be spending so much?
The main reason I want to get the ltd ed is the free dvd...the lucky man vid...besides that, having a dvd version also means I can free up my hard disk space by deleting those video files. DVDs last longer than mpeg files anyway.
But the normal ed is more affordable, and has a bonus track--La Tormenta.
I think there will probably be a Taiwan version of the ltd edition, in around 6 months or so. It's more worth it to get the Japanese version of the normal ed, and Taiwan version of the ltd ed...I don't think I'd be able to afford both.
I really don't know...you all know how much I hate Taiwan versions, and won't get it unless I absolutely have no choice.
Well...
...I don't want to have any regrets. But the more time I waste trying to make my mind up, the closer the ltd ed gets to being sold out on YesAsia (my only hope).
Forget about getting anything with a DVD at HMV. The Japan version of KinKi Kids' KISS 2 (original price 6000 yen) is selling for $144 there when 6000yen is less than S$100! How much the 6600yen ltd ed of 5x5 will cost, I don't dare to guess. :P $44 can get another 2 singles/3 issues of Myojo.

Went to the RJC and HCJC open houses yesterday. I know I won't be able to go for the 1st 3 months, but I really believe that if I just work harder, I can make it. No regrets.
Met December's friend Kai siong (finally) yesterday...December's trying to 'match' us but I'm not really interested in a relationship...not now. So give up already (lol). But it's rare to meet a guy my age who's such a gentleman. Shook my hand when December introduced us at HCJC yesterday (how often do you get that? From a 16 year old boy?), and said "i beg your pardon?" when he didn't catch what December was saying (most guys will go "Huh?" or at most, "Sorry?"). He sort of reminds me of my older cousin...the same well-behaved well-mannered type of guy who has no qualms making conversation out of anything ESPECIALLY current affairs and other cerebral matters, yet is not so serious about it to the point that it gets boring talking to him. And actually, that's my type of guy. I'd be turned off if a guy talked about nothing but superficial stuff, because it's make me think he wasn't mature enough to bother about what was going on in the world around him. But of course, if he were the type who just flaunts what he knows...a big show-off and braggart...:P
I'd say it's the first time I've actually met a guy not related to me who's that well read, knowledgeable, well-mannered type. But I think I'll meet a lot more if get get into a good JC.
No december. I'm not interested in KS that way. Takes more than 1 meeting to know a guy. I'm not interested in BGR right now anyway. LOL.
  ¶ 10:58:00 午後

  Over S$100! Was saving up for prom but now that the new Arashi 5 x5 The Best Selection of 2002-2004 (Limited Ed) is coming out...I guess I don't really need new makeup for prom...in any case I'm going to be really broke. But I think the limited ed is worth it...just have to do it by money order. Don't know how much that will cost but definitely less than a bank draft...my parents don't trust online stores with their credit cards so I'll have to find my own way.

If only I could just borrow from my mum for this once...but over a CD (and DVD) she'll deem 'overpriced'? Fat hope. I have a feeling it'd cost more at Mise. If HMV brings it in...but because it has a DVD, I wouldn't count on that. But I intend to drop by HMV tomorrow to check. If the limited editions of Iza Now! and Hitomi no Naka no Galaxy/Hero are there, it means they'll probably bring in the limited ed of 5x5 too, albeit much delayed.

$110...rough estimate...gone... If only there was such a thing as pay-by-installments at yesAsia lol.

Feeling guilty...still haven't collected the CD I asked Juliah to get for me...she said she'd get her sister to pass it to me but I don't have her sister's contacts either. I'm not bringing my cellphone tmr so...i don't know...maybe after the bio prac next week.

About the article about Arashi's 'blogs' in the New Paper: Actually, i kind of despise the Singaporean journalists who write about Jpop--most of them don't know their stuff at all and it's so irritating!! That article proves my point--does she think they even have the time to blog? And I think they (most of them anyway) would be more comfortable blogging in Japanese.

From misspelled names...to wrong info...to writing about a red herring as if it were real...oh man, those 'jpop reporters' are really ignorant. Even if they didn't really know much about an artiste or pop group, shouldn't they check their sources a little more thoroughly? To assume just like this...what a disgrace to journalists . If I ever became a reporter reporting on the Japanese entertainment scene I'd really make sure I get accurate info, not the tabloid stuff which you can't be sure are true or not.

Just typed a letter to the reporter who wrote the article. It probably is rather bold of me, but I sort of repeated a bit of what I just said in the above paragraph: Responsible journalists should not report any news without first checking and doublechecking on it for reliability and truthfulness. It's what I strongly believe--otherwise it'd be reporting rumours, and that's really unprofessional in my opinion.

Well, maybe it wouldn't be so bad if everyone knew when to doubt and when to believe, but the fact remains that some people remain extremely gullible and believe everything they read, even when there's no evidence that what they read is true. You can't believe everything, especially whatever appears in those tabloids. That's why I get so irritated when some people at the Idol Thoughts rumours forum go on and on about reports in tabloids, as if they were true, no matter how far fetched it seems. If you've really seen him do it in real life, fine; if you know him personally and know that he does that, fine, we believe you. But photos alone do not tell all...it's almost like picture conversation: Give me a photo and I can cook up any story about how it came to be. But sources can lie, especially if you don't know who the person who first gives the 'news' is. 'Fans' can lie so that other fans will look up to them for actually having firsthand new 'news' about their idol. While the image that an idol projects may not be his true self, get real, a public image is a public image. And i think that a person can never hide his/her true self completely. On top of that, a public personality deserves some respect too. That's why i hardly ever go to IT, and when I do, my posts usually doubt the rumour.

I really admire the Japanese magazines I read...they never probe too deep into an artiste's private life to make their readers feel, "okay, enough is enough". When an idol says, "I'm sorry, it's private", they leave it at that. Yet, the questions they ask and so on reveal enough about the idol to allow fans to feel as if they know him. The mags don't make everything sound so perfect that you get the feeling, "This is too good to be true." The idols reveal some of their private lives, but not too much, so that they retain some privacy for themselves and the people around them. That's fine with me. Everyone needs some privacy. Even the most attention-seeking stars will have something they don't want the public to know. As long as it's nothing criminal or illegal, I'm fine with them keeping it to themselves.

If i ever get to interview stars and idols, I'd try to understand them...to know when too deep is too deep, yet to get them to reveal as much as I can, within limits. I think it'll take a lot of skill...I wonder if I'll manage? But if I respect the person I interview, they'd respect me too; the reverse is also true.

Last words: Tabloids are interesting to read, but don't believe everything they say.
  ¶ 10:08:00 午前

  It's 15 points now. But prelims aren't everything, there's still the 'O' levels. Actually, I'm sort of relieved that I didn't do well for the prelims, because if I had, I knowing myself, I'd leave everything as it is and not work as hard, and score even worse for the 'O' levels. of course it's a pity I can't go to the JC I want to for the 1st 3 months...I'd be a liar if i said I didn't cry at all...but what's done is done. Yes, I'm disappointed, but now that the crying is over and done with I have to move on. The only thing I can do now is study even harder for the 'O' levels, to get where i want to be. I just found out that 2 of my (much older) cousins didn't make it to RJC in the 1st 3 months too, but got in after that. Although that was long ago, it still proves that prelims are not the ultimate.

Just like the VJC girl who said she got 16 points for prelims but got into VJC after JAE? For JAE, there will always be those who get to stay, those who can't stay, and those who can stay but choose not to. We'll see if I really have affinity with RJC then.

It's not going to JC or LaSelle or whatever insituition that is the point. You basically insulted those who choose to go to JC before you made your choice--now that you've changed your mind you've become one of the very people you insulted the other time. What a pity.

On a lighter note, the CD I ordered online arrived yesterday!!! Now that I know the site is both trustworthy and efficient, and so I shall get all the CDs and DVDs I can't get in SG through them.
Strangely, Kenneth and I got the exact same L1R5...lol, close cousins... I don't know if we'll end up in the same JC 1st 3 mths though. I just realised I haven't seen him for over a year. Hope we'll really manage to find a day to study together soon.

Just a few more months...then...GOOD RIDDANCE. I daresay the feeling is mutual.
  ¶ 7:36:00 午後

  It's kind of obvious when you use electronic translators...somehow the sentence structure doesn't seem right. 意味わからない。日本語がわからなかったら英語を使ってください。
To someone (you know who you are.)If I can't even string a proper sentence together I'd be failing my languages. But sorry, I got As for both. I didn't fail my orals either. Sorry to disappoint you. :P
Are you so dumb that someone has to tell you they don't like you to the face for you to know it?

人は何故ないものを探し続けてるの？

知らないけど、これは考えはずの問題だ と思います(笑)。“途中下車”好きだ。(笑）あと、歌詞にこのリリックがある。メバリンの苦境とぴったりと思います。

名前も忘れるほど 遠くなってしまうなら
ネクタイを 外し 途中下車したまま
この街の思い出は何気ない一日が
守るべき何が そっと包んでゆく

翻訳してメバリンにＥメールするつもりがある。彼女この歌のメロディも好きそう。
社会学を勉強しています。シンガポールの政府をどうする人民にＯＯやＸＸなどをくれるようなものだ。（笑）どんな国でも学生の社会学教科書に必ず自国の政府はどうどうするなどをほめるじゃないか？当たり前だよ。たいていプロポガンだではないけどし過ぎはこうなる。

  ¶ 3:55:00 午後

  翔くんを思ってる。まえはあんまり思ってなかったのにメーバリンちゃんが"もし翔くんが突然に学校に現れたらどうする？”　って訊ねた後いつも思っています。どうするかあの時　“私の学校に何をしてる？”を訊ねとふざけて答えたけど…絶対あんな失礼になれないの（笑）。“こんにちは”って”嵐が大好き”　“翔くんの大ファンですよ”ってなどなど。でももしほんとうにみたら照れて赤面になって話されなくなるようになるかもしれない。そうだけど絶対あいさつを必死にする。んん。礼儀だ。

白バラと赤バラ。どっちを選びますか？
  ¶ 11:01:00 午前

  Some people just don't understand, and so tend to see things a different way. Well, can't help it.

Wondering when I'm going to receive that CD I ordered from CDJapan...? It's still "In shipping process". well, anywhere in 1 to 3 weeks time, from what the site says. Can't wait!

I guess there'll be bitches and cliques no matter where you go, whether it's JC or Poly or some other institute, or even out to work. Life's like that, can't escape. I guess the only time where there weren't any bitches was when we were little children, innocent to the ways of the world? To me, the important thhing is to not become one of those bitches. But it's going to be hard, seeing that in many cases you have to bitch to survive. Just like in Survivor. Oh well.
Wonder what today has in store...
  ¶ 9:23:00 午前

  Nervous. Really, really nervous! In around another 3 1/2 hours I'll have my English prelim results back...December, you really scared me when u told me about ur classmate who got a C6 though she'd been getting straight A1s all along...

For the first time in nearly 2 years yesterday, I liften up my piano cover and started to play again. Surprisingly, my fingers still remembered that melody, and I let them lead...It's amazing isn't it? Of all the songs I've learnt, it has to be that song--"Melodies Of Life". It really brought back lots of memories, because I remember that it was at around this time, 4 years ago, that I learnt it...4 years ago, when graduation threatened to tear friendships apart.

I learnt it for him, but i never did get to play it for him. Even as time passed and I no longer had any feelings for him, I'd grown to love that song, and the feel of my fingers pressing down on the keys in that familiar fingering. It was the very first song I'd learned completely on my own...and I was more than willing--even eager--to play it for an audience, anyone who would listen. Not just this song, but any other song. Loved to hear their applause, shouts of encouragement, awed looks...appreciation. And that was part of what kept me playing, too, other than the love of music.

I remember playing it for my MEP class in Sec 1...I still played in in Sec 2. Then, disaster struck and I thought I'd never play again...not in school, not in front of classmates, who would laugh at every single mistake I made in playing, even out of nervousness. It may seem too much, to stop playing because of something like that. But their laughter was a blow to me, discouraging me...when i got home that day, I sadly closed the lid of my piano, and never opened it again, except once in a while when my cousin came. My parents and other relatives asked me why I hardly played any more; I couldn't tell them the real reason, knowing they'd say, "You shouldn't let that keep you back." They wouldn't understand what a blow the laughter was...to my classmates then, laughing at every wrong note I played was a way to show me, I wasn't so good after all...a way to show their disdain. To me, it was a horrible blow of discouragement...would they ever understand that?

It was a year later that I tried to play the song again--helping Wenhan during the Head prefect/Head Monitor campaign, I was over at renhui's house with the rest of the team. There was a piano in the room.
Taking a break, I slipped over to the piano, wondring if it was okay...if anyone would mind...uncertain about what their reaction would be, uncertain if I'd be able to play the song again.

I played. Nobody commented, or seemed to pay attention. But I didn't care...this was much better than laughter at every wrong note. Still, my fingers couldn't remember every exact chord...maybe it was nervousness. Even after that, though, I still didn't lift the lid of the piano at home.

Until yesterday...clearing my room, putting the books that were resting on the lid of the piano back to their original places, I looked at my rosewood piano and suddenly felt the urge to play again. And play I did...my fingers somehow recalled the familiar melody again...every chord, every appregio, every crescendo and decrescendo. Was it my fingers that remembered, or this piano which had been my constant companion and confidante for more than 10 years? When I was much younger, I'd play when I was sad or angry, banging away at the keys in a stormy melody; playing gaily when I was happy or when there was cause for celebration. I'd play on National day, Christmas, new Year, my parents' birthdays, or to entertain guests when they were here. All those memories, too, came flooding back when I played again yesterday, and I wondered, "How could I have let that little incident in Sec 2 devalidate my love for playing the piano?" I guess i was oversensitive then?
And before i realised it, I was crying...crying while i played that familiar melody, over and over again as to make up for the times lost. Played the songs I used to know again as well...but I needed to refer to my scores again this time, having forgotten most of the left hand accompaniments. The memories still came flooding back...how could I have forgotten?

From now on, no heavy textbooks will rest on my piano lid ever again...nothing to impede me when I feel that urge to lift up the lid and play. I don't think I'll ever neglect my piano again...I'll keep playing.
  ¶ 9:20:00 午前

  I never flopped across the stage for as far as I knew about it--not on wednesday, thursday or yesterday. Unless by 'flopped' u mean some other action.

One sentence: The Pot Calling the Kettle Black. Cuz that's what I think a lot of people are doing.

It takes a lot of self-awareness to see all of one's own flaws, and I don't think I have that degree of self awareness yet...as such I can't say I know all my own flaws, but those that I know about, as long as I see that there's something really wrong with it, I'll try to correct it.
But people who want me to be somebody I completely am not..I'm sorry, I won't change myself just so that u'll like me better. Everyone has a certain kind of ppl they'd rather not hang out with, nor care less about what they think. If I don't like someone, why would I want to change myself so that I'd be the type of person they like, if the type they like what I completely dislike? Bottomline: I won't be someone I'm not, much less someone I dislike, cuz i don't want to end up hating myself.

Speaking about ppl I dislike...somehow I saw quite a few people I didn't want to see out at orchard road today. And I didn't even go to Heeren or Far East Plaza! Better not linger on that, just makes me feel unhappier. I just looked away and walked on.
  ¶ 7:51:00 午後

  Waiting for my cousin Serene to come over...

Why is it that so often, we see others' faults but are blind to our very own identical flaws?

If it weren't for them...
This class would be one of the greatest classes I've ever been in...
Can't stand her. Can't stand them. 2 more months and I'll never see them again.
How could anyone be so hypocritical?
It's ur business which route u choose. You don't have to insult those who choose the other route.
And...get this...one minute she's sneering at those who chose to go the other way, and the next, she's saying that she's considering going this way too.
Sighz...

Just had a revelation yesterday...well, not much lolx. Was looking at the article on Kazama Shunsuke in Duet and realised that he looked a lot like someone in the class...Didn't mean to insult Kazama k but the face...if he had a different hairstyle he'd be her doppelganger. ..but give me Kazama k anytime, somehow he looks more pleasing to the eye compared to her although they look so alike. 雰囲気だ。

Somehow i don't feel safe...
Realised how deep and dark some ppl are...some are deeper and darker than I ever thought they were...manipulating, hiding, playing on others' feelings...hiding behind those masks. Almost like shape shifters...telling others what they want to hear, changing their opinions quickly to suit the person they're with. These are the real people with no personalities of their own...their personality is defined by the person they happen to hang out with...almost a bit like viruses...coming alive only when they infect a host, manipulating the host to suit their needs...Scary. Like Hooper. people with true personalities of their own won't change their principles and general stands on certain things so easily, with no good reason. People with no real personalities...they're just empty underneath that changeable shell, which they change to suit the person they happen to be with. Weak...almost lifeless...can't survive without a host...

Just some ramblings.
  ¶ 4:10:00 午後