Feeling better...but I really don't know how our friendship became like this...a change of heart on my part? Its as if over time, the little things that irked me added up and became something big...things that I used to be able to brush aside are now extremely irritating...Then I'm like, if I'm really her friend why can't I just accept it? But I guess a lot of friendships go through this phase...first u get along really well, then u start getting irritated, but if the friendship survives through this phase u'd probably be closer than ever.
But I sense...instability...in more than one part...it's scaring me.
Why can't I just talk to her? Guess I'm just a coward? But she's been through so much...I'm afraid that she'll slip down that abyss again. I'm still concerned about her no matter what...I just want to have some time off for a while. Didn't know maintaining a friendship was so hard. And I'm getting tired...of having to try to comrfort someone who keeps being depressed...of trying to talk someone into coming to school for tests...of trying to calm her down and assure her. I wish she were more cheerful, that she had a brighter, more easy going personality...and I'm feeling guilty for wishing that.
The Iro board is down...:(
I've a bad feeling I'm going to do badly for today's oral. When I walked out of the hall, I suddenly recalled so many other othings I could have said. It was really cold, and that in part kind of ruined my concentration cuz it's hard for me to really 'feel' what I'm saying when I'm shivering. :P But what's done is done and I can only hope.
I think she senses that our friendship needs a temporary cool off too. I'm sorry it had to turn out this way. But if this goes on it may become unreparable.