Kansha Kangeki Amearashi

感謝カンゲキ雨嵐

Kansha Kangeki Amearashi...It's thanks to the RainStorm that I found myself again.

日曜日, 4月 11, 2004
  Helping my mum to efile her clients' tax returns :D
Sometimes, I feel kind of lost-- 'tomadoinagara'?? I wonder if I'll ever survive on my own when I grow up...filing taxes etc all seems to complicated...even adults need my mum to help them do it...then there are all those laws and everything, and these make me realise that yes, when it comes to all these things--what to do, how to do it, I'm ignorant.

When I was doing backstroke just now, I suddenly remembered ...:
Backstroke isn't one of the strokes I knew long ago. Like butterfly, it's a stroke I learnt only after I started training in Sec 1.
Stella taught JC, Yin Har and I backstroke on our very first training session :) That first training was really eventful...earlier this year Jingchuan and I were just reminiscing about it lol... Audrey and Ka Man were there too, to bring us to Toa payoh, and I thought they trained with us too but they didn't go into the water, only Stella did.
HeLai made us do 30 laps of freestyle(1500m isn't that much now, but back then it was so impossible) ...then he asked Stella to teach us backstroke...she did try, but you get water in your nose and you end up swalloowing water sometimes XD
To cut a long story short, it started raining with thunder and lightning then, and the 3 of us were so relieved because it meant an end to that tiring training session!

The 3 of us were there by ourselves the next training. We were wondering why no one else from the school team was there, and we asked ppl...Michelle (not my current jr, another michelle) pointed to Jac Chow--the first senior on the swim team we'd seen besides Stella, Weiling, Audrey and ka Man...
JacChow came up to us later on, when we were swimming in lane 1. She spotted our backstrokes and taught us how to improve on it--still can remember what she told me: "Try to kick a little higher, make sure your toes pop out of the water"

JC, Yin Har and I told her we wanted to be breaststrokers (hey, that was before I realised how lousy my breaststroke was!!!) and she taught us breaststroke start--the whole underwater pull-kick-push-surface sequence :)
I remember Jac said she liked backstroke cuz u can see the birds flying past etc etc when u do back...
That's one of the plusses. But I like doing back mainly because I like to actually see everything going by...feeling the water below my back, the sun on my face...to feel myself actually moving in the water...the push and pull, the kicking...it's not that I don't feel that doing my other strokes, but I don't feel everything as smoothly. (^_^)

I didn't exactly like backstroke at first either, the water getting into your nose feels so uncomfortable, and I went (and sometimes still go) crooked...lane 1 to lane 8 lol...I don't know when I started loving it...but somehow I just did. I learnt how to keep straighter (make sure your arms touch your ears when you reach behind), to keep my body from sinking (and therefore from breathing in water), to have a more efficient pull...before I knew it it took over freestyle as my main stroke...if there's one stroke I'm confident about it's my backstroke...but no matter how much faster I am than the other ppl in my lane (sadly, it's the only stroke I can beat them in, cuz my fly and breaststroke are horrible and my freestyle's stagnant) I'll never be as fast as the other ppl on the school team...

Lost some fat on my thighs, but still need to lose some more!!! and the hips and the waist...I know I won't grow any more, so trying to grow taller is kinda useless...Mum says I look good in short shorts but I don't know how true that is...she also said I look good in miniskirts but I look at my thighs and...:P I haven't been wearing skirts that much...more pedal pushers and jeans...I love my new pair of jeans!!

There was this old pair of Giordano jeans that I one day, around 2 years ago, realised I couldn't fit my thighs into any more. I took that pair out and tried them on again on Saturday and it fit!!With a little room to spare :) I'll continue climbing stairs and exerting my thigh muscles...now it's on to the hips and calves as well.

I've got so many skirts cuz it's so hard to find jeans that actually fit at my king-kong thighs :P But now that my thighs are actually slimming maybe I can balance their amounts! \(^___^)/


Adeline and Stephanie: It's all a matter of opinion. Most other ppl think my singing is nice, but again there are also some ppl who aren't really used to it, therefore it sounds horrible to them...it's a singing voice. Not everyone sings with their normal voices.
Spit saliva--I don't even notice it sometimes...it's not as if i do it on purpose, and i can't control it. Teach me how to (other than to stop talking entirely) and I'll stop it.
Japanese language puritan--in what way? I like writing, typing, speaking in Japanese, with anyone who can understand. I'll gladly teach anyone who wants me to teach her.
There is always the stop button at the top of the page if you don't like the song. As I said, it's all a matter of opinion, you can see that there are ppl who like it, you don't expect me to take the song away just because one person doesn't! It's my blog after all.
Adeline: I read your blog...I don't act cute on purpose...I don't even know when or why ppl may think I'm acting cute...I'm just doing what my heart tells me to do. It's not some surface I put on on purpose so I don't see how it's fake...lately ppl--the ppl on the Iro-board I met during the hols, and Gwen--have been telling me I'm cute--'kawaii'--but all along I thought it's just my height.

I told you, I'm being very frank in this blog about what I think and so on--some stuff may be in bad taste...yes, I do know how it feels like, but it's tit for tat in a way, you still manage to know who I'm talking about anyway, outsiders who don't know what's going on don't have to. It's no secret that I don't like you and you don't like me, Stephanie.

I wish i could do something to change society, but how can I? Society includes a lot of people--people who have their own opinions. I'm not a dictator who dictates what a person can think etc etc. Nobody's changing it because at the end of the day, there's still something called freedom--whether we like it or not--ppl still have the freedom to choose what to say, what decisions to make. It's just that whatever decision it is you have to face up with the consequences. But in reality, no one can really stop you from doing anything.

For example,I don't like ppl to swear and use the f-word--HATE it, in fact, but it's not within my power to tell them to stop, because they'd just say "who are you to tell me to do that?" I try to tolerate it, though I really really really can't stand it. You can't tell people what to do.

Doesn't everyone have someone she dislikes? What do you do then?

Does the way one behaves in class definitely reflect her true self? No. I'm really sure you don't know me well enough....sometimes, even I'm not really sure of myself. It's true that I'm more confident than I used to be in primary school (blessing or curse in disguise, I don't know). Giggle at when sex is mentioned--i'll admit it here, it's because I have really dirty thoughts in mind--kkz I'll stop it--but I strongly feel that a mature relationship doesn't have to include sex.

Lastly--no, I wouldn't want to wear a 'bloody' gown, Stephanie, because I don't like blood on my clothes. Thank you.

Have a slightly bad feeling about going to school tml...maybe because I haven't even started studying for my Chinese test? it's already 8.42pm!!
We shall see how the new seating arrangement turns out.

training today was fun!!! I forgot our lady coach's name...I know she coaches the RGS girls but I don't remember her name. Anyway, what Jingchuan said 2 wks ago is true--you really learn much more from one session of Sunday training than you do during Andy's training. She corrected my backstroke start, told me to make sure my toes came out of the water when doing the backstroke kick, and voila! I did feel that I was going faster...
...but not fast enough lol

I'm definitely going next sunday!! :)z

I haven't seen my old swimming seniors--those who graduated 2 years ago, the white badge ppl--for quite some time, except for Jac Chow (even then I don't see her around that much). But strangely, today I swear I saw Ka Man!! She was walking out of the pool from the water polo side, and I was at the usual place near the changing room with Jing Chuan and the rest...I'm pretty sure it was her, but she was gone before I could even run up to take a closer look, or say hi. :( Shuk Mun said that she ended up training in the same lane as Dorothy on Sunday once, but I didn't see her today. If I had, it'd be really amazing lolz....cuz I'd have seen all 3 of them on the same day, in a very very long time. Jacchow was definitely there, she's with water polo now...red t-shirt and shoes and SNG shorts XD Was in the changing room right next to me! (It seems)...but she was talking to her friend...I should have gone and said hi to her though. Usually when either JC or I see her during training we'd wave to her--if she noticed us, that is! LOL

 
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On happy days, as cheerful as a rainbow Or on days that rage like a storm You'll always be there for me

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—’ Arashi/Tochuu Gesha “r’†‰ºŽÔ
From album Iza, Now!‚¢‚´‚ÁA‚m‚‚—I
J-Storm
Release date 21 july2004
(64kbps)1.95mb

途中下車

朝もや 旅立ちのホームに
内緒で駆けつけた 
見慣れた笑顔が待っていた
ジリリ 別れのベールが鳴り
大粒の涙が 真夏の風に消えた

外は晴れ 夢はどこ?巡り合うのは誰?
閉まりかけていたドアの向こう側に 見た!

*名前も忘れるほど遠くなってしまうなら
ネクタイを外し途中下車したまま

この街の思い出が 何気ない 一日が
守るべき何か そっと 包んでゆく

突き出す きれいなビルの影
くたびれた Yシャツ 
交差点の中立っている
時の流れに追い越され
落ち込んだ午後には あの夏に咲いてた True Song

人はなぜない物を探し続けてるの?
悩む事さえ忘れかけている My Life

#あの日乗り込んだ列車は 行き先もないままに
不器用な呼吸でまだ走ってゆく

信じることに疲れて 1人眠りたい夜
途中下車したまま ゆっくり 時が 止まる
全ての街に日が昇る
希望の鐘(ね)を打ち鳴らせ

今信じる勇気が 魂の輝きが
守るべき何か そっと 包んでゆく

(*印 くりかえし)
(#印 くりかえし)
走ってゆく

Tochuu Gesha

Asa moya Tabi tachi no homu ni
Naisho de kaketsuketa
Minareta egao ga matteita
Jiriri wakare no beru ga nari
Ootsubu no namida ga Manatsu no kaze ni kieta
(The morning haze At the starting point of my journey,
I set out in secret
As the familiar smile waits
"JIRIRI", the departing bell rings
And big drops of tears disappear in the winds of midsummer)


Soto wa hare yume wa doko? Meguriau no wa dare?
Shimarikaketeita doa no mukou gawa ni Mita!
(It's fine outside, where are my dreams? Who is it that I'll meet?
On the other side of the closing doors, I saw it!
)

*Namae mo wasureru hodo tooku natte shimau nara
Nekutai wo hazushi tochuu gesha shita mama
Kono machi no omoide ga nanigenai ichi nichi ga
Mamorubeki nani ga sotto tsutsunde yuku
(If I ever go so far away that I forget even [her] name
I'll take off my necktie, and as I get down from the car midjourney,
Gently embrace the memories of this street, the day I took for granted
And what I'm supposed to protect
)

Tsukidasu Kirei na biru no kage
Kutabireta Y shatsu 
Kousaten no naka tatteiru
Toki no nagare ni oikosare
Ochikonda koko ni wa
Ano natsu ni saiteta True Song
(The shadow of a clean building pops into sight
A worn out white shirt
Standing in the middle of the crossroads,
Having been caught up and surpassed by the flow of time,
Is the True Song that bloomed in the calm afternoon
Of that summer.
)

Hito wa naze nai mono wo sagashi tsuzuketeru no?
Nayamu koto sae wasurekaketeiru My Life
(Why do people keep looking for what they do not have?
My Life, where I forget even my troubles
)

#Ano hi norikonda resha wa iki saki mo nai mama ni
Bukiyou na kokyuu de mada hashitte yuku
(The train I boarded that day without any destination in mind
Still rushes on with its awkward breaths)


Shinjiru koto ni tsukarete hitori nemuritai yoru
Tochuu gesha shita mama yukkuri toki ga tomaru
Subete no machi ni hi ga noboru
Kibou no ne wo uchi narase
(Tired of believing, nights I want to sleep alone
As I alight from the car mid-journey, time slowly comes to a stop
The sun rises in every street
Striking the bell of hope
)

Ima shinjiru yuuki ga Tamashii no kagayaki ga
Mamoru beki nani ka sotto tsutsundeyuku
(Right now, I embrace gently
The courage to believe, the radiance of spirit
And what I should protect
)
(repeat *)
(repeat #)

Hashitte yuku
(Rushing on)

Translation by Celste(Evon)


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