2 songs I wish to share; Arashi: Paretto and Michi. Maybe I'll put Michi up here, it's less than 1 min so the file's quite small...
I really want to get the Pika*nchi soundtrack, I hope it's still there at sale price...nearly $40 but better than the usual $68...I guess I have to give up the clothes I want to get though I still can't get them off my mind--that blouse, that hooded top, that skirt. I'm saving up for the Arashi pictorials...and their new single...
I've been doing some thinking. Maybe I've been too selfish in that friendship...she did give a lot and what have I done? Almost nothing... I didn't know how to repay her for everything she's done, and even when I try to I don't do a good enough job...she probably feels that I'm taking her for granted.
I'm probably sounding lesbian here but as I told Melissa, I'm infinity % sure I'm straight!!!!! It's just that friends are very important to me too, although I'm kind of a loner. I may not like to have that kind of friendship where we do everything together, hang out together all the time etc--I'd feel stifled...but it's nice to have someone to chat with, someone who shares the same interests, someone to laugh with and go out with occasionally, someone to partner/be in a group with :) But all those whom I think might share my interests all sit so far away and already have their own cliques...
I like people who try to be cheerful and look on the bright side more than people who whine and moan all the time, I think I've said that before right? I guess I like laughter. Maybe that's one reason why I seem to get along better with the boys than the girls, at least in primary school. The Straits Times (Life section) (or was it New Paper?) once said that girls are more likely to pour out their woes while talking to someone, while guys usually will just mention their problem and move on to some other topic. I don't know if I'll still get along better with guys than girls now;there are no guys in this school, but I still think they do make better companions than girls. I'm not lesbian, I'm not butch, I don't see myself as a tomboy, I don't think I'm flirtatious or anything. Just that guys are less catty and more good natured than girls. Well, but if I hang out more with the boys than girls in JC, tongues are going to wag. For sure. But my guy friends in the past all were really nice to me and always managed to make me laugh even when I was upset...
Maybe I find it hard to fit in in this school cuz I was too used to the guys in Primary school? But I still had female friends then so... the guys would be able to take my teasing, the girls take it to heart way too much, even when I'm not serious. Whenever I try cracking a joke, certain ppl would glare at me/give me an incredulous look :P I'd prefer someone who would add on to the joke...not just let it die...
Like that time in the pool with Eng Hui (frm training) and the pool...we started talking rubbish about treating the floodlights as a diving board and jumping into the pool from there, resulting in all the water in the pool flying up into the sky while the diver hits the pool floor and falls unconcious, then all the water falling down into the pool again due to gravity, then being pulled out of the pool buy someone who can't revive the person and so decides to use mouth to mouth...only he has garlic breath... u get the idea. We laughed ourselves silly. I like cooking up crazy, rubbish stories and jokes once in a while, I think it's creative...let your imagination run wild!!!
The guys...most of them...they'd always add on to the rubbish and by the end we'd be laughing like crazy...I miss Nicholas and all the rest...:) Even when we just got to each other, and I didn't really like him at first and put out this newsletter thing making fun of him, he didn't get really mad but laughed at that too, and we became friends from then on. Nante "If you have friends named Nicholas and u want to go to St Nicholas, you get 1000 points added to ur aggregate" :D But we lost contact...I think besides December, he was one of my closest male friends.(Um, ok, I wouldn't really count December a male friend cuz he's kinda feminine in behavior...)Then there was Rey...and my cousins Kenneth and Edwin though lately it feels that we're drifting apart, Kenneth and I...i always seemed to be closer with my male cousins than female cousins, though Serene-jie comes pretty close!!
I'm not really looking forward to tml, knowing I'd probably be snapped at, ignored and snubbed, all over again. I guess I'll be bugging u a lot, Gwen, cuz u're practically the only person in class I feel I can actually talk to right now :). U'll find out how weird i am all right... It never used to hurt so much before, last year the ppl who didn't like me felt so from the start, but this time people who used to be my friends--at least, I think they were my friends--started disliking me. Maybe I have some serious personality flaw I don't know about, or maybe we just didn't click. They're not my type, I'm not their type.
I'll stop here, got to get those 2 Chinese essays typed out for Veronica Ang before she starts chasing me for them